Can I phone the Police just to have some company?

Original Yahoo Answers post: Is it alright to phone the police so you can have a cup of tea and buscuits with them?

Funny Answer: Yeah it's fine. After all they are paid by your tax dollars, so why not have them spend time with you? What else do they have to do anyway, give out parking fines? And I am sure all those speeding motorists will feel safer knowing that "the force" is in your house rather than checking speed on the highway. As an added bonus they are already in the house and ready to arrest the criminals should there be a home invasion or burglary.

Serious answer: I do not think that it is the role of the police. You should try to find what social activities are organized in your town. Scrabble club or Bingo may seem boring, but they are an opportunity to meet people.

How to get rid of a terrible selfish one-night-stand?

Original Yahoo Answers question: Terrible selfish one-night-stand is pestering me. help?

Funny Answer: You should call this guy and tell him that you want him to use you for sex as often as he wants. Then have sex with him as often as possible, several times per day if you can! IMHO after a few years even he will realize that passionless sex is not much better that masturbation and go back to using the much more practical hand instead of all this complicated "sleeping with a girl" business.

Serious Answer: Just ignore the jerk, don't read his texts, don't answer his calls. Everybody can be (and usually is) bad in bed the first time they have sex with a new girl, but if he is not even trying to please you at all he's not worth your time.